


winter

by orphan_account



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Arguing, Banter, Bisexual Negan (Walking Dead), Bottom Carl Grimes, Carl Grimes Lives, Cussing, Eventual Smut, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gentle Kissing, I need a hug, Kissing, Lowercase, Minor Enid/Carl Grimes, Minor Rick Grimes/Michonne, Minor Ron Anderson/Carl Grimes, Multi, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Negotiations, One-Eyed Carl Grimes, Plot, Protective Carl Grimes, Protective Rick Grimes, Rick Grimes Needs a Hug, Ron Anderson Lives, Top Negan (Walking Dead), Top Ron Anderson, Weird Fluff, Weird Plot Shit, enid is a good friend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:47:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28329228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: when faced with limited supplies, rick is forced to make a deal with the saviors to save alexandria. however carl is faced with the hardest decision of all- deciding whether to let himself walk into the arms of their enemy to keep his loved ones safe.
Relationships: Carl Grimes/Negan, Enid/Carl Grimes, Ron Anderson/Carl Grimes
Comments: 9
Kudos: 41





	1. carl decides he hates waking up cold, as well as the egomaniacs who wake him up.

**Author's Note:**

> carl is 19 ofc 🤡
> 
> also this ship consumes my life now, thank you 🙈🙈

carl woke up to yelling. negan must’ve come early again, probably telling his dad something along the lines of ‘the early bird gets the worm’ or payment in this case. he turned over in bed, his one good eye able to see the sun rising through his curtains.

it would be blissful if the yelling outside the same window wasn’t getting louder. he sighed, rolling over once more to get out of bed. as soon as his feet hit the floor, a shiver ran through him.

the male was beginning to regret his decision already. he eyed the bed for a few moments, having to keep himself from wrapping back up in the warm blankets. winter could fuck off.

carl knew better however, sure he’d have to keep his dad from trying to tear negan apart. him trying to piss negan off always led to them losing more of their supplies. and now that it was winter, they’d need everything they could get if they wanted to survive. sometimes it felt like he was babysitting his dad rather than the other way around.

not that carl needed babysitting anymore. he was nineteen now and kicking more ass than his dad probably knew. sneaking out offered more chances to blow off steam. nothing like bashing in heads in the early morning hours to keep him from bashing in his own.

so maybe he was still going through teenage depression. who could blame him? the world was pretty shitty in carl’s eyes- well eye and now it was just getting more shitty.

he looked in the mirror and sighed, grabbing new gauze from his desk to cover up his bad eye. memories of negan degrading it crossed his mind briefly as he wrapped his eye. he’d never be able to forget the man making him unwrap it years prior. and he sure as hell wouldn’t forgive him for it.

carl walked out of the house with a sigh, watching his dad yell out another insult in negan’s face. something about killing him, carl was sure. before negan could react, his men caught sight of carl and raised their guns his way. the male raised his hands in mock surrender, continuing to walk off the porch.

negan’s attention was caught, a smirk spreading across his face. “woah, lower your weapons!” he said, waving carl over. “well isn’t it my favorite alexandrian?” he raised lucille to point at the young adult, still grinning like a maniac. “come to get your dad on a leash, i hope.”

carl rolled his eye, walking over to the taller man. “my dad can handle himself,” he spat, crossing his arms. “just get what you came for and _leave_ , negan.”

“aren’t you turning out to be the little leader, making me _proud_ as _fuck_!” he exclaimed, wrapping his arm around carl’s shoulder, much to the younger’s disgust. he curled his lip, trying to shrug him off momentarily.

“anything i learned didn’t come from you,” carl spat, taking a step back to stand with his father.

negan didn’t falter, throwing his head back with a bellowing laugh. “kid, you crack me up. without me, you’d still be following daddy rick, in circles like a little duckling.” he looked over to rick, his eyes mocking him.

carl knew what was coming before the words left negan’s mouth.

“now, if your dad had half the leadership skills i do, he’d have you and your sister in a lot safer place. but i guess he failed, didn’t ya rick?”

rick growled, pulling carl behind him protectively. “don’t you dare say i haven't taken care of my children. they’d be dead if it was up to you,” he said, hand gripping the knife in his holster suspiciously.

carl wasn’t the only one who noticed, negan’s grip on lucille tightening as well. he gulped, laying his hand over his hands. “dad, it’s not worth it,” he mumbled, his eye glued to negan.

“better listen to the kid, rick.”

“if he takes all our supplies over this, it’ll be on your shoulders,” carl stressed, relieved rick dropped his hand.

negan grinned, taking a few steps back. he looked around at the alexandrians brave enough to crowd around, pointing lucille. “you fucks better be real grateful for your lord and savior, carl here.” he laughed, then motioning to his men. “take half and load the trucks, pack it up real nice. like a saviors’ christmas present.”

carl glared at the man, knowing the real implication of his words. “fucking asshole..” he growled, turning on heel back to the house.

whether negan heard him or not was a mystery, as carl didn’t look back. he did know however that negan didn’t deserve anymore of his attention than he already got. things were fucked enough without the man thinking he could mold him into his idea of a ‘little serial killer’.

carl passed judith, who sat at the table writing in her journal. she’d grown up a bit over the passed few years, her hair long enough to be in a braid down her back. he smiled to himself, sitting at the head of the table to peek at the notebook.

she closed it tight before he had the chance, making him laugh. “what? you can’t share your big brother now?” he placed his hat on the table, looking at the six year old with a grin.

she shook her head with a smile of her own. “no way, these are my secrets,” she said, flicking the hat gently before standing up from the table. she kept her notebook close, almost daring him to try and take it.

he would’ve given her a chase for it, if his dad slamming the door after him didn’t startle both of them. “dad?” he questioned, grabbing his hat and going into the living room.

rick was slumped on the sofa, his head in his hands. “s’nothing carl,” he muttered, turning to look up at him for a few moments. carl kept his expression neutral, unsure of what he was looking for. “negan just pisses me off. it’s cold now so finding more supplies is going to be harder. we can’t exactly grow crops now either.”

carl nodded in understanding, grabbing his jacket from the back of one of the couches. “i’ll go out to scavenge with a few others. we should get started early if we’re going to collect enough for next week.”

rick shook his head, standing up. “no, you don’t need to go out now. i’ll organize a group for tomorrow.”

“well, what am i supposed to do dad? sit around and watch people starve?” he put on his jacket, not backing down. “i’m not a kid anymore. let me go out, if not for their sake, then at least for mine.”

rick stayed silent, his eyes on the floor for a few moments. “i’m not ready to let you go out without me or michonne right now. i can't risk losing you, this community needs you safe, carl.”

carl sighed deeply, rolling his eye. “fine, but i’m going to try and help tara start an indoor garden or something. we could do it outside, but we’d have to have a tarp to keep it insulated,” he explained, moving the subject over.

rick nodded, already brushing passed him for the kitchen. “i’ll make a list later,” he said, then stopping in place. he pulled carl into a hug, the other male not returning it fully. “be safe.”

“yeah, yeah i know,” he said, pulling away to head for the door. he almost turned around to say bye, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. instead he left the house without a word, the cold air making him pull the jacket closer.

he jogged over to tara’s house, knocking as softly as he could on the door. he waited a few seconds before turning away from the house. “can't say i didn’t try,” he said to himself, now heading to the entrance of alexandria. negan’s trucks would be long gone now and enid was on guard today.

it was the perfect time to sneak out, carl not caring about the risk of getting caught by rick. he was nineteen, what could he do? ground him? carl shook his head at the thought.

when he got to the gate, enid’s attention shifted over to him quickly. “going out?” she said as a question with a knowing look.

he simply nodded, already beginning to open the gate enough to slip out undetected. “cover for me?”

she sighed, looking down at him. “only for a few hours. if you don’t come back by then, i’m not responsible,” she said, glaring at him some. “i don’t want you dying out there alone.”

he smiled, his stomach feeling warmer than before. “i’ll try to make it back in one piece then.”

she laughed, shaking her head at his antics. “well then, i’ll be looking forward to it,” she shot back, watching him slip through the gate. within a few moments she got down to lock it behind him.

“hey, wait.”

carl paused, turning back to face the girl through the gate. “yeah?” he scanned her face, knowing what would soon follow.

she reached through the wire and took his hand. “be careful, carl.” she pulled him back to the gate, seeming hesitant. her other hand brushed across his cheek gently before she leaned in to kiss him.

carl accepted it greatly, then pulling away to admire her. enid’s dark eyes fluttered open at the loss, meeting his own icy blue one.

they stayed still, lost in one another until carl heard a familiar groan behind him. “i should go,” he said, turning away from her. pulling out his knife, he walked towards the walker approaching him and drove the weapon into its head.

carl looked up to the watch as he walked away, enid back at her post. a new founded smile graced his lips at the sight of her. they weren’t exactly a fling nor were they officially together. whatever they had, carl found himself more than comfortable with it.

enid was as broken as him, if not more in a way. they’d both survived terror after terror, the only difference being that she did it alone. he admired her for it. she was also beautiful, though cold at first. everything about her made him want to know more, explore possibilities that shouldn’t be possible in an apocalyptic world.

at the same time, he didn’t want to change a thing about his world. exploring her late night as a friend and then experiencing the same love with ron not even a day later… it was slutty? but really, what could anyone do about it? he was miserable without them.

apart of him wished enid had joined.

he walked on, only stopping to kill stray walkers. every kill, he counted, each one becoming a little bloodier. it was their fault the world was fucked up. the walkers were to blame for negan. for everything. carl would gladly believe it, as he convinced himself of it a long time ago.

the one eyed male started going through the nearby town, knowing every obvious place to look had already been ransacked. they’d gone everywhere it seemed, and in a world like this, things could only become harder for the community. he sighed, stopping to look in a puddle.

coming to terms with his missing eye had been a lot. especially forgiving ron, though in the end he was glad he did. they pushed their many differences and born from that was something beautiful that both of them needed.

somehow they made it work without tearing each other’s throat out when things got bad. carl wasn’t sure how, but he knew it was love.

voices brought him out of his thoughts, the male instantly on edge. people out here? it was less than likely a large group was passing through, but not completely impossible. without much thought, carl pressed himself against the side of what used to be a store to gather his thoughts.

realization dawned on him sooner than later once he recognized one of the voices. his fear melted away. it was soon replaced with anger.

negan.

he gripped his knife, flicking walker blood from the blade. slowly, carl peeked around the corner of the building, pleased to see that negan’s back was facing him. the man was swinging his bat around, directing his saviors. it pissed carl off. why was he here? what else could he possibly need from the area?

his mind came to a blank.

carl swore he heard something from behind him, swatting in the bushes so he wouldn’t be seen by any passing walker. the last thing he needed was to cause a stir. a day trip to the sanctuary didn’t exactly sound magical.

but carl didn’t see a walker- no, what he saw was worse.

rick and michonne, walking straight towards where negan’s men were. they’d be ambushed, or worse… killed.

“negan!” his dad yelled, not going any further. he hadn’t even seen negan yet. then it dawned on carl. this was arranged. a million thoughts ran through his head at once, his good eye trained on his dad’s face. trying to read him. to find out why he was meeting negan out here. this is why he didn’t want carl out of the house. to do- whatever this was.

he flinched when negan walked past him, praying to whatever god above that he’d been undetected. it seemed to work, the man too focused on rick to pay his hiding spot any attention.

carl watched silently as negan smirked, all too pleased with what he’d set up. then his eye shifted to his dad, unable to miss the guilty look in his eye. he furrowed his eyebrows.

“so, who’s gonna be on the good ol’ chopping block, rick?” negan asked, playfully swinging lucille like a golf club.

rick glared at him, his hand going to his gun. “no one, i already told you we’re gonna settle this without any death.” carl strained to listen, pushing himself through the bush to get closer. he ignored the branches that started digging into his skin, choosing to focus his attention on their conversation.

negan’s expression filled with amusement. “aw, where’s the fun in that?” carl swore he could see darkness in his eyes. “but, to be real- who are you gonna give up to the sanctuary? i know this has got to be a _tough_ decision.”

carl thought he’d choke.

rick was going to trade people.. their people?! to the sanctuary, the place where negan tormented daryl for months on end. the place where he’d taken carl and forced him to take off his bandage. rage bubbled up in the male at his father’s actions.

“you know you gave me no choice, negan,” rick growled, standing his ground despite the threat of lucille. “and if you don’t keep your end of it, then-”

“then _what exactly_?” all of the amusement left negan’s voice, causing rick to take a step back. “because we can end whatever this was, right now!”

rick shook his head quickly. “don’t.” he paused, carl able to see his pride deflating. “..please. these are _good_ people.”

“well, rick you need to fucking decide and bring their ass on down,” negan said, throwing the bat over his shoulder. “cause if you can’t decide, i’ll do it for you,” he said, reminding carl of his mother. she’d always say something like that…

it pissed him off.

his mom, the governor, negan. they were all the villains of carl’s story. unsatisfied with what they had, so they had to take from others. carl hated it.

“no, we’ve already made up our mind,” michonne cut in, speaking for the first time.

“goddamn, at least _someone_ has their ass in gear today!” negan said, with a rough laugh. “so who’s the lucky contestant?”

rick sighed, guilt in his eyes. it made carl uneasy as he tried guessing who would leave. surely he wouldn’t send daryl back. it would have to be someone that wasn’t connected to their family or any family for that matter. someone like enid or-

“ron anderson,” rick said firmly, making carl’s heart drop in his chest.

“no…” carl whispered to himself, a cold sweat sweeping across his body. sure ron wasn’t perfect and perhaps a year ago, he would’ve said good riddance. but now… carl knew he was smart, resourceful, and handsome as hell! not that the last quality helped his argument. it didn’t matter. carl knew what he had to do.

he moved out of the bush fast, standing up promptly. “ _no_!” he yelled, storming over. you can't do that to ron! he’s already lost his family, the last thing he needs is to be locked up in hell with negan.” he hissed out the older man’s name while glaring at him.

rick’s shocked face was enough to make carl wanna puke. he wasn’t supposed to be here. he lied to him and the betrayal was all over his dad's face. in the moment, carl couldn’t care. he was going to get his say before their initial shock wore off.

“what? we’re you just gonna drag him out for some kind of fucking bonding exercise, just to hand him over to our enemy?! and then what? blame it on a walker?!” he clenched his fist, his love for ron making him protective. carl was almost in awe at himself for caring so much.

rick began to glare back at him, michonne looking defeated. “carl, this is _important_.”

“and ron isn’t?”

“i never said that.”

“well you sure fucking _implied_ it!” carl yelled, glad he couldn’t see negan’s reaction to them. the male was sure he was eating it up like pie.

“why do you even care, carl?” rick was tired, carl could see it. he felt it. “he shot you, tried to kill you before that.”

“dad, this isn’t about that! for fuck’s sakes, that was years ago. can't you see that he’s changed?” he was begging at this point, turning to michonne. when she made eye contact, carl knew, she knew.

rick never saw through carl’s facade, but michonne knew. she had the mother’s instinct that carl’s own mother didn’t seem to have. carl could see the understanding in her eyes, knowing that she didn’t want to see him hurt. physically or emotionally.

“rick.” michonne placed a hand on his shoulder. “we can find someone willing to go with negan, but we need to be upfront about it.” she turned back to carl. “we are lucky it was just carl out here and not ron.”

“carl shouldn’t have been out here to begin with,” he hissed, then pinching the bridge of his nose.

negan’s silence was over, carl whipping his head around to see him tapping lucille on the pavement. “this is quite the family reunion we have going on, but lucille is losing patience.” it seemed as though an idea struck negan, a grin plastering itself across his face.

he was staring dead at carl.

“times up, so i’ll decide.” he picked up lucille, pointing her straight at carl. “looks like you're the lucky winner, kid.”

carl felt his throat go dry, but didn’t dare show any fear. “fine,” he spat, challenging him with a glare. “ron will stay and i will go,” he said firmly, moving his gaze to his father. his voice was strong, but in reality carl felt like he was collapsing inside.

“no!” rick pulled carl further away from negan by the arm. “you’re not taking my son as a prisoner.”

carl pulled away, opening his mouth to make a smart comment about ron. negan beat him to the chase.

“prisoner?” negan laughed, throwing his head back. he winked at carl, making the male cringe ever so slightly. “i don’t think the most fucked up person on this fucked up planet could take this spitfire prisoner.” he chuckled, glancing back at rick. “not without losing a few limbs in the process.”

“dad, i’m not letting him take ron.” carl sighed, lowering his head. “not there. he’d hate it and hate me for letting it happen.” slowly, he looked over to negan. “i can’t risk that shit.”

negan was grinning from ear to ear, carl sure that he knew by now he won. “well kid, looks like you and i are gonna be gettin’ real cozy soon.” he nudged his arm, carl stepping away.

“shut the hell up! i’m only doing this for the community’s sake, so whatever you promised my dad, you better as hell stick to it.” carl waited for his reaction, sure he’d try to raise hell with lucille. he kept on an impatient glare, not going to give in as easy as rick did.

negan glared back momentarily before smirking, looking over to rick. “i take carl and train him up as a soldier, and in return i’ll only come around once a month until spring.” he nodded, looking all too pleased with himself. “see, i _can_ be reasonable.”

rick looked unsure, but carl knew he had already given in. “carl comes back to alexandria for every pickup and once spring comes, he’ll be back for good.” he bite his lip in anger. “and i swear if you harm him in any way-“

“spare me the dad talk, rick!” negan groaned, shaking his head. “we’re already wasting daylight as it is.” he turned away, motioning for carl to follow. “let’s get the hell out of this dump already.”

carl turned to his dad and michonne, a homesick feeling tearing away at his heart. “i’m sorry..” he said quietly, hugging them both tightly. “i just can’t let him take away ron. you don’t know him like i do- negan would break him.. i can't- i can't lose anyone else.”

rick sighed, hugging him back just as tightly. “stay safe carl, i mean it. don’t let him break you.”

michonne nodded, kissing carl’s forehead. “be strong for alexandria.”

carl smiled, pulling away from them. “i’ll try.. i love you.”

rick nodded, tearing up as though he was sending his son off to college. yet, carl knew better. in all actuality, he was being sent off to his doom.

holding back a troubled expression, carl began to follow after negan, having to jog to catch up to the older man.

“bought time, kid,” he said simply with a smile, lucille against his shoulder.

carl felt as though he could vomit, so he didn’t try to answer. instead, in a melancholy mood, he joined negan in a savior’s truck and began his journey to hades. his only reassuring thoughts contained ron and enid safe back at alexandria, waiting patiently for his return.


	2. if there's something carl hates more than the cold, it's negan's stupid questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> carl has a hard time fitting in at the sanctuary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the comments and kudos!!! they mean the world to me

the sanctuary was like a concrete jungle, but slapped over with guns n’ roses, ‘welcome to the jungle’. it fit negan’s standards almost perfectly, carl himself unable to find the appeal. 

when they first arrived, negan led him straight to an empty room, and gave him a layout of the rules. they weren’t as bad as carl imagined. he had to remind himself negan was still the enemy a few times. 

with a sigh, carl looked around his room, negan long gone by now and busy with who knows what. the male wished a few of his things were here, making a mental note to grab his comics when he went back the next month. if negan didn’t allow it, he’d just smuggle them in anyway. 

carl glanced at the door, deciding within himself that he’d go out. there had to be some kind of makeshift library around here. and if he couldn’t busy himself with that… well he hadn’t made it that far yet. 

when he left the room, he was pleasantly surprised to see no guards around. at least negan hadn’t lied about that, though carl found himself hating him more for it. it was easier to hate someone who was constantly evil. 

not that negan wasn’t. 

while wandering through the sanctuary, carl swore he could hear ron underneath the noise of negan’s saviors. everytime, it was heard to the right of him, carl cursing the loss of his eye. by the time he looked, the noise was gone. 

he was going crazy, carl was sure of it. being isolated from his family made it hard to stay out of his head. impossible, really. 

he passed a room labeled ‘book storage’, thinking that it was promising. he pushed open the door effortlessly, seeing shelves of books filling the room. it wasn’t a real library like the one from his childhood, but he was grateful. 

he waltzed in, finding something that looked relatively interesting before sitting against the wall and getting absorbed in it. instantly, all of his thoughts faded away, carl fading into space. negan had taken away so many of their books, it was like living in ‘fahrenheit 451’ half the time. the other half was plain hell. 

carl didn’t look up when the door opened, already able to recognize whose boots they were. “what do you want, negan?” he deadpanned, beginning to scan the page he was on. 

“i was beginning to think you ran the fuck away, kid.” negan used lucille to push the book down, then to bring carl’s chin up. “and we sure couldn’t have that, now could we?”

carl tilted his head higher to escape lucille’s barbed touch. “i wouldn’t have come in the first place if i planned to run away, idiot.” he rolled his eye, pushing the bat away with his free hand. “now, what do you want?”

negan chuckled, reaching out a hand for carl to take. “i believe a part of our deal involved me training you,” he said with a grin that made carl sick to his stomach. “so let’s get moving kid, your hand to hand is probably shitty.”

the younger opened his mouth to argue, then thinking better of it. though, it pissed him off to admit it, carl knew negan was right. his dad wasn’t exactly preparing him for anything back in alexandria, so plenty of his skills were rusty. so against his better judgement, carl followed negan out to train. 

walking with negan proved to be problematic, as everyone in the sanctuary had their eyes trained on them both. the stares made carl queasy, unable to bring his eye up from the concrete ground. he wasn’t supposed to be here.

in their eyes, he was the enemy.

it made carl sigh, the male pulling his father’s hat down to block his side view. how could they be so blind? to follow negan like sheep? surely someone here knew how evil he was. 

but when they kneeled for negan, it was hardly out of fear. he’d seen it before… the respect in his people’s eyes. it was the same kind of respect people at alexandria had for rick. carl had even seen it towards himself. it disgusted him that negan got shown that respect. 

it disgusted him more that he craved the same respect for himself. 

shame rose in his stomach like bile as he pushed the thought down. he’d never let himself be like negan… he couldn’t lose himself to the temptation that rose in him. carl knew the consequences and not one of them was worth the risk. 

he walked the rest of the way reminding himself why negan’s empire was evil.

“we’re here.”

carl looked up, unsure of where they were. his last tour was over a year ago, the newly established areas a mystery to him. “uh, where exactly?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at the older man. “when did you add this room? and why so big?” 

“jesus, carl,” negan said, setting lucille down by the door. “quit goddamn interrogating me. it isn’t like you can take the information home to daddy,” he taunted, walking through the room. 

there were mats laid out on the floor, weapons on shelves against the walls. it could almost resemble a gym, if not for the lack of real equipment. 

that wasn’t the point. negan was building onto the sanctuary, possibly adding numbers to his army. training them here, turning them into weapons of war to be unleashed on every group of innocent strangers they came across. and if anyone stepped out of line… slaughter. images of glenn and abraham flashed through his mind like a torch, lighting a fire within him. 

“shut up,” carl spat in his direction before turning his head away. his gaze laid on lucille, the male pondering whether he could bash in negan’s head with it before escaping. it couldn’t happen, but he could dream. “or actually answer my questions,” he demanded with narrowed eyes. 

“jeez, you drive a hard bargain,” negan said, motioning for him to come over. “how about, i answer when you actually show progress?” he said, both eyebrows raised.

carl cursed under his breath, but went over with little complaint. “fine,” he spat, dropping into a fighting position. “if i pin you, you have to answer whatever i ask,” he said firmly. “...and i’ll do the same,” he added reluctantly. 

negan watched him carefully, as if predicting what he’d do first. “fair enough, kid.” he stood straight, his presence itself intimidating. carl wasn’t scared, but he was careful enough to read him. negan must’ve thought he knew nothing by the way he stood unworried, or was too arrogant to see. 

carl betted on the latter. 

with the outline of a plan forming in his head, he jumped forward, aiming a fist for negan’s face. he moved back, delivering one of his own to carl’s stomach, the male hitting the floor with a small cry of pain. “shit..” he muttered, rolling out of the way before negan could pin him down. he didn’t want to answer shit that man had to ask, carl sure it would either be inappropriate or far too personal. 

the male pushed himself back to his feet, glaring at the older man. “that was dirty,” he said, fist clenched in front of him. 

“what else do you expect?” negan scoffed indignantly, lunging forward to grab him. 

carl ducked, pushing forward into negan’s stomach in hopes of pushing him off balance. it proved ineffective, as the man was built like a tank compared to carl. “i don’t know… maybe- a littl- shit.” he fell backwards when negan slipped his foot under his own to trip him. 

negan pinned him quickly before he could get up, carl wanting to wipe the grin he held off his face. “crazy people fighting for their lives aren’t gonna play by the rules, carl.”

“wow, no shit?” he retorted, rolling his eye with little enthusiasm. “now, get off old man.”

“not until you answer a question,” negan said, his grin only widening if anything. 

“then ask already,” he said, squirming slightly under him to free his hand from under himself. 

“tell me how you got that badass hole in your head.”

of course he’d ask something so insensitive! carl saw it coming from a mile away, not needing two eyes for something so predictable. “gunshot,” he said firmly, not giving him the luxury of details. before negan could complain, the younger male shoved his fist into his stomach, following up the move with a kick to get him off. 

he rolled over, pinning both his arms down with a triumphant smirk. “crazy people aren’t gonna play by the rules,” he mocked, finally wiping that obnoxious grin from negan’s face. 

“i guess that makes you crazier than me,” negan shot back, not fighting him back. carl had won fair and square, apparently. “and that question was hardly answered, carl.” 

“shut up.” carl scowled down at him, organizing the millions of questions he wanted answers to. “now tell me what this room is for? training an army?” 

“it’s suppose to resemble a gym, if you hadn’t noticed,” he said vaguely. “i know it’s gotta be hard to see with that hole in your head,” he added with a chuckle. 

“oh my god!” carl got up quickly, shaking in head in disbelief. “don’t you have an ounce of sympathy?!” he snarled. 

negan stood soon after, brushing off his jeans. “i don’t think i do.” he smirked in carl’s direction, then headed for lucille. “now why don’t you answer my first question properly, seeing that you cheated your way out of it?” 

carl would rather watch as a zombie at him alive, but was wary of negan’s hold on lucille. “a horde got into alexandria and ron shot my eye out while we were trying to escape,” he explained briefly, maintaining eye contact. “happy now?” 

“woah, woah! you’re telling me that- what?!” negan laughed aloud, obviously very amused with carl’s story. “ron anderson? the person you were so desperate to save?!” he choked out another laugh. “holy balls kid.” 

carl wanted to strangle him. not because what he said was arrogant, selfish, and uncalled for… he really wanted to because it was true. “we’re past that, negan! unlike you, i don’t need fucking payment and punishment.” he felt more mature as the words left his mouth, almost like he was scolding a toddler. though, judith was never this misbehaved. 

“no need to get so defensive, it’s none of my business who you’re fucking on the side,” he said nonchalantly, holding his hands up in mock defense. 

“we’re not- urg! you’re so annoying!” he yelled, close to ripping out his hair. “just- are we done?!” 

negan chuckled lowly, then nodding. “would you prefer brooding in your room or making yourself useful around here?” 

as much as carl wanted to refuse out of spite, he wanted to actually work a lot more. he’d spent months sitting around alexandria doing mundane tasks. “real work?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at the older man. “i’m not organizing supplies, that’s stupid.” 

negan shot him a look, as if he would do it out of spite before shrugging. “have it your way then. you can take guard duty, kid.” he shrugged, turning away for the door. “keep up, i don’t need you getting lost.” 

carl huffed, but followed him out, having to jog to catch up. “i wouldn’t get lost if you weren’t a fucking skyscarper, old man.” 

negan chuckled, but didn’t respond. 

fine by carl. it was about time he shut up. 

when they got outside, negan relieved someone of their duty before putting carl in their place. he left without a word, leaving carl alone with his thoughts and the wind… it was oddly lonely. 

it would turn out carl wasn’t used to being alone, not since he was younger. ever since alexandria, there had always been someone he could stay close to. whether it was his family or friends, there was always someone to spend time with. it was at a point where rick stopped asking where he snuck out to. it was mutual knowledge he ended up at someone’s house. 

for the first time that day, carl realized he’d have to be alone for months. ron would’ve been fine with that… he was always stronger in that department. carl sighed, shaking his head. thinking about it was ridiculous, a waste of time in his situation. there was so much more at hand, like alexandria’s survival. yet, carl focused on his unhealthy attachments to people. 

ridiculous. 

with that thought, carl shut up his brain and got back to work.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos are great, but comments make my day 💖


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